This week, I am really excited to welcome Sandra as a guest writer. Sandra is from Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina, lives in Croatia with her husband and three of her five children whom she home schools while visiting different countries. She is forever dreaming up enormously exciting schemes and frequently carries them out.
Dear new mum,
The piles of colorful, clean laundry in two baskets in the middle of the living room seem to be mocking and taunting you. Is the dirty laundry pile larger than the clean one? A sink of dirty dishes yelling and calling out to you. The floor needs vacuuming, those few crumbs on the floor seem to be irritatingly disturbing. Your husband’s crisp and clean white shirts all lined up neatly seem to be patiently waiting for their turn to be ironed and ready for use. Meatloaf, spaghetti bolognese, chicken stew, Shepherd’s pie, casserole, tacos-all those dinner ideas seem to be arguing and fighting in your head trying to be louder than the other one. They seem to be saying, “Pick me! No, no, pick me! I am the right choice, please pick me today!” The image of your messy bed from this morning is tempting you to just drop it all and go make it. Your phone is blinking and you detect it is your friend calling but you do not dare answer it. It would seem to someone looking from the outside that you are chained to the armchair and stuck with inexplicable force that is robbing you of life and purpose.
Then you lower your gaze and look into your baby’s sweet, satisfied face as she is happily nursing and slowly falling asleep. You are happy to see her nod off, but panickingly you look around and notice all those things you just didn’t get to today. Yet another day spent, and what did you accomplish? You woke up this morning, correction you never even slept! Those couple of hours you snoozed while the baby finally settled and fell asleep couldn’t possibly be counted as sleep, or could they? When your husband went off to work you had to get up and change the baby. You started your day, then she was not feeling well, or was it just colic? By the time you got something into your mouth and got the baby to sleep, it seems like you made more mess than cleaned up. So much to do, how to get to it when she is sleeping now? If you move she will wake up and you cannot risk that. You are simply too tired to try and calm her down once again. Your husband is going to be back home from work soon, hungry and tired, dinner needs to be made as well.
If you could just close your eyes for a moment right here…Your head bobs and you stir yourself awake. Your baby is peacefully sleeping now and you are calculating your escape like a heavily guarded prisoner. You move a little bit and the baby stirs, her eyes even start opening ever so slightly. Oh, no! Stay put and let her rest!
Yes, you are happy with that decision, but what about the laundry, what about ironing, oh, the vacuuming…You regret it instantly due to the guilt you start feeling. Is this what it’s going to be like from now on? Will I ever brush my hair again without rushing? Will I be able to eat slowly, enjoy my food while chewing it instead of just chocking it down in the couple of minutes I have available? Panic sets in and you start feeling like your life has come down to such simple menial daily tasks and you cannot seem to find the way out.
Pause! Stop! Listen! You are a mum now! You are beautiful, capable, adequate, skillful, and resourceful! And you are doing it all on a minimum sleep available to any human being! Just because your hair is undone today, or dishes are in the sink, or dinner is a little late, doesn’t mean you are not a rock star! You can do it and you will pull through! This is just a phase! One thing though, the sooner you face the fact that you are not perfect, the better for you it will be! You will keep your sanity, and you will enjoy mothering that beautiful child in your arms! Give up on trying to be perfect, allow yourself to get a break, and watch how daily you regain time for yourself, your husband and your friends. Before you know it, your children will grow up and you will get to treasure those moments forever in your heart. And you will be able to pass on the nuggets of your wisdom to the new and up and coming moms how it’s done.
As those words reach you, you allow yourself to relax, snuggle up next to your baby and drift off to a much needed rest. “Tomorrow is a new day!”, you think to yourself. The door quietly opens and your husband comes in. He’s picked up some pizzas on the way home. He kisses your forehead gently and slips away in the next room, leaving you two to rest!
Guest Blogger of the week: Sandra
Sandra, with 4 of her children
During her 20+ years working in a Humanitarian Aid organizations Sandra studied and gained a vast amount of experience in mommy and baby care, K-12 education, teaching children with special needs, working with children in refugee camps, orphanages and children from low-income families. She had an experience in counseling parents, holding seminars on baby education, discipline, and parenting. Besides her own children she’s worked and continues to work on daily basis with parents and children from all walks of life. She is a tea person all the way, an avid lover of beautiful homes and a voracious reader and a learner.
After five children (of my own and having worked with heaps more), I got to know full well, all the trials and joys of early parenting. I am available for you with tips on early parenting tips, setting parenting goals, traveling with children, developing love for learning in your baby, and so much more at firstname.lastname@example.org
*Thank you Sandra for this beautiful blog post, please check her social links to know more about her*